Self-doubt is the origin of lack of trust in another person
When subconsciously, something is telling you that you shouldn’t be the way that you are behaving, originally this came from a lack of self-belief. A doubt originated deep in your thoughts manifested in your belief system.
You are not confident or sure about something that you are going to commit to, and instead of searching for what is exactly, you seek for an external excuse or approval that confirms this doubt about the other person. So the reaction is that you don’t trust that particular person.
In fact, this was originated inside your system, and your partner is just reflecting you back something that you were not sure about. He or she shows you that lack of self-belief, in the most common way: a lack of love.
Your partner might behave in a way like for example looking around at other potentially partners (in your perception); but in reality, this is just a projection of your belief system. You think that people think the same way as you do, and they would do exactly the same as you would. Even if you think that you would never do that, still it’s that idea of possible action and it’s being reinforced by your self-sabotage.
How can you get rid of those unwanted thoughts manifested in feelings of jealousy, incompetence or not the right person to be with?
Your lack of commitment inspired you to do the same with the other person. Because you were not committed to yourself first, you led the other person take charge of you and you avoided your first responsibility, self-care. You thought that it’s his/her job to look after you. With self-care, I mean love. You forgot your own love and thought that your partner must love you unconditionally, to a certain extreme. The problem came when he/she didn’t accomplish your expectations. So, were you loving him/her unconditionally too? or just you wanted your partner to behave in a certain way that you thought it’s the best for you? You were looking for security outside, in the other, instead of internally with yourself.
Being fully committed in a relationship is loving yourself unconditionally
When you have no conditions or expectations about how you should be, you accept everything as it is; your ups and downs are part of experiencing life. There is no right or wrong in regards of how you are supposed to live your life. Whatever you have done in the past, it is done and that’s what there is. We learn from previous mistakes (to call it somehow, as I believe that there are no mistakes, same as there is no right or wrong) makes you define more what you want. To seek personal advice in regards to relationships is a must that we all should commit. And this advice comes internally by following your inner guidance, your source of inspiration and your highest desires.